I’ve read rumors that former president Trump, by way of avenging himself on the United States of America, is investigating the possibility of founding a third party to be called “The Patriot Party.” Of course, “patriot,” as I’ve complained before, doesn’t mean patriot in any ordinary sense of the term. “Patriot” is the 21st-century equivalent of “Good old boy,” sc. Someone “like us,” one who shares our prejudices, and, when all is said and done, will hate the people we hate. So I guess The Patriot Party would be a good title for a party composed of the sort of people that Trump attracts. 

Of course, the Patriot Party, like any other, is bound to have factions within it, and it may take someone with Trump’s charism to keep it all together. The factions would include The Evangelicals, The White Supremacists, Neo-Nazis, the Xenophobes, the Patriarchists, the Gun Nuts, the Downhome Soldiers of Fortune (militias), the Anti-environmentists, Anti-scientists, Conspiracy Addicts, and the Abortion-fixated. And, of course, non-violent criminals, like grifters and embezzlers and filers of fake bankruptcies, will be welcome, as will, no doubt, well-to-do sex-offenders and mobsters who have good tailors.

On consideration, however, I don’t think the diverse interests and enthusiasms will prove divisive. These factions have so much in common that no incidental differences could imperil party unity.