When I was a boy we heard from time to time scary Halloween atrocity stories passed on by word of mouth, e.g., that hate-filled people were inserting razor blades into trick-or-treat apples or were dropping burning-hot pennies into trick-or-treaters hands. So I found something nostalgic in reports that various far right figures have been claiming online that immigrants were putting fentanyl into Halloween candy.

Hence came my fantasy of putting truth serum in the Big Macs, fries, Diet Coke, and other junk foods favored by the MAGAs. Talk about chaos! The Christian Right movement would fall completely apart if people started telling the truth, and the Republican Party would never be able to recover if its people would begin telling the truth even for a week.